A Really Big Show, A Really Big Day!

Despite the ridicule I have given Las Vegas, I have to hand one thing to it: They really know how to put on an entertaining spectacle, whether serving a meal or putting on a show.

After golf on Saturday, Caroline and I paid a visit to the Atomic Testing Museum, located about a mile off the strip in the heart of Las Vegas. For those of you scratching your heads and asking, “Why atomic testing?”, the Nevada Test Site—where the weapons in the Nation’s nuclear arsenal were tested and perfected over the course of 40-plus years—is located a relative stone’s from downtown Vegas. Being from the Atomic City ourselves, Caroline and I were highly motivated to check out the latest national museum dedicated to nuclear weapons and weapons-related topics. Moreover, our Las Vegas host runs the museum store and we were anxious to see the fruits of her labors.

The museum, like many others of its type, traces the history of atomic weapons from concept to delivery. Unlike other museums, the Atomic Testing Museum bases its point of view from the Nevada Test Site, where hundreds of aboveground tests rattled the Earth and, occasionally, outshone the neon lights of The Strip. The Nevada Test Site was home to “Doom Town”—constructed as part of “Operation Cue”—where mannequins were posed going about their business in typical American homes, forests were erected on the sterile desert floor and automobiles, Mosler safes, live animals and other everyday things were left lying around, all so they could be subjected to fires of Atomic Hell, ostensibly to test the Civil Defense capabilities and necessities of the nation. The museum has managed to dig up some pretty good replicas of the actual dummies used in Doom Town and they stand freakishly frozen in time as they did just before detonation 50 years ago.

But the real highlight of the Atomic Testing Museum is its bunker, where visitors get a full-sensory taste of what it was like to participate in a test (without getting any extra radiation in the process). Shows inside the bunker begin at regular intervals. When it's time, simulated steel doors automatically swing shut, isolating visitors in the eerie red glow of the bunker. The countdown begins shortly afterward. At detonation, visitors get to witness an awe-inspiring mushroom cloud rising from the desert floor through the bunker's observation port. A few seconds later, the shockwave arrives and the bunker vibrates at an ominously low frequency. A blast of high winds follows, mussing the hair of those inside the bunker. The museum is worth a visit just for this one exhibit.

The museum store includes some great gifts and mementos, ranging from Einstein action figures to those old Viewmaster gizmos with 3D images of the Nevada Test Site inside. And the prices are good enough that you can fill out your whole Christmas list in one stop and within budget.

Slot machines, craps tables and roulette wheels are a dime a dozen in Las Vegas, but how often do you get a chance to see a B-61 warhead, early “the-atom-is-our-friend” propaganda films, an atomic artillery shell or apparati used in the Nuclear Rocket program? A trip to the Atomic Testing Museum is a must-see in Vegas, even if you do leave shaking your head at the sheer madness of the Cold War.

But we were just warming up for a night on the town as we exited the museum. As mentioned, Las Vegas manages to turn just about anything into a show. Back at Maggies, we took a quick dip in the pool and then donned our best beef-eating garb. We had reservations at Lawrys The Prime Rib restaurant, an art-deco establishment that really puts the ass in class. Started in the mid-1930s, Lawrys has been serving meat the old fashioned way for decades. According to our waitress, Miss Whatshername (identity preserved to avoid the appearance of any culpability in the creation of this blog), told us that the menu had changed just slightly a few years ago to add a fish dish as an optional main course and a shrimp cocktail appetizer. Other than that, the restaurant has remained in its own self imposed time capsule for the past 70 years.

To preserve that yesteryear feel, the staff wear the a same uniforms as the first Lawrys staff did. Women wear dresses and bonnets and all of them introduce themselves as Miss so-and-so. They also use the same carving cart as was used in the first restaurants. These “silver carts” as they are called are Art Deco stainless-steel beauties that resemble a large, accented, silver egg tipped on its side and supported by futuristic-looking stainless steel clad wheels. The whole get up stands five feet tall and looks like a mini flying saucer straight from an Ed Wood flick. Each "silver cart" contains hearty portions of succulent prime rib that is carved off the bone before your eyes right at your table. It was a pricey meal that was served about as professionally as I’ve ever seen. The atmosphere was lavish yet comfortable. I haven't enjoyed a dining experience so much in years. If you're coming to Vegas for a visit, you should go for dinner at Lawrys before the odds of getting Mad Cow forever spoil the opportunity to enjoy a grotesque hunk of cow flesh.

But the highlight of the night was seeing Cirque du Soleil’s Kà, a lavish theatrical performance that incorporates elements of dance, martial arts, puppetry and gymnastics to tell an exciting story on a clever set that seems to defy gravity and at times forces the performers to defy it as well. Caroline had managed to score amazing seats for the performance, so we were smack dab in the middle of the action. Colorful, fun and moving, Kà provides eye-popping entertainment for people of all ages, nationalities and backgrounds. No language skills are required, which makes the show work well in Vegas. If I tried to describe anything else about the production, I’d just end up getting it wrong. So I won't say anything else. Suffice it to say, you really do have to see it to believe it. As chronically cynical as I am, it was fantastic to discover that a live stage production can still capture my full attention and imagination and hold them for two hours while fully delighting me in the process.

Like everything in Vegas, however, Kà isn’t cheap—It would take me about a half hour to lose the ticket-price equivalent at the gaming tables. Given the choice of an hour in the casios or two hours watching Kà, I’m picking Kà every time. And I'm saving my pennies so I can donate Kà tickets for poor kids. Weird, huh?

See you on down the road.